Introduction
As spring emerges, nature undergoes a remarkable transformation, signaling the promise of brighter days ahead despite lingering rainy days and cold spells. This seasonal shift mirrors the transformative journey of leadership, which holds valuable lessons for those committed to personal and professional growth. However, navigating this path to brighter horizons requires confronting challenging opportunities for development. These pivotal moments demand not only strategic shifts in leadership approaches but also profound transformations within ourselves.
Traits for Transformation
Within our Ethos team, we’ve had the privilege of collaborating with exceptional leaders driven to elevate themselves and their teams. Those who successfully embrace transformative change embody key traits such as vulnerability, openness to feedback, discipline, and resiliency. They are vulnerable by identifying ways they could grow as leaders and people. Feedback is encouraged and they are receptive to hearing different perspectives. They are disciplined in applying the feedback, even when it is challenging. If they experience setbacks along the way, they are not quick to abandon their newly adopted changes. They are resilient and patient as they wait to reap the benefit of positive changes. Each of these traits are crucial to taking transformative action.
Reflecting on What to Transform
The journey toward personal and professional transformation begins with introspection—discerning what aspects of ourselves we need to change. There are many assessments that leaders can buy that provide insight into opportunities for improvement, personality, or how to maximize strengths; CliftonStengths Finder, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), DISC, and the list goes on. However, some leaders do not have the time to examine which of these assessments is best for them or want to pay for an assessment. Fortunately, reflection provides a free and accessible means of enhancing self-awareness. Drawing upon the framework of the Four Horsemen of relational apocalypse (John Gottman)—criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling—leaders can embark on a journey of self-discovery:
- Criticism. How do I experience self-criticism? This reflection should be focused on changeable behaviors and not personal flaws. It is important that leaders are not critical of themselves when they, or others, name something they can transform. If you find an area for self-improvement within yourself and internalize it, there is an opportunity for transformation.
- Defensiveness. How do I respond to mistakes? Effective leaders own their mistakes and are open to feedback. No one likes making mistakes. It’s a natural visceral response to feel defensive after making a mistake, but it is important that this feeling does not lead us to shifting blame on others or resisting positive changes. Making excuses for mistakes and choosing to do nothing are markers that there is an opportunity for transformation.
- Contempt. What is my leadership presence? Leaders should bring a presence of stability and security. Contempt is a dangerous feeling as there is often disregard for others and change. When a leader’s presence is hostile or creates instability, there is an opportunity for transformation.
- Stonewalling. How well do I manage my emotions and difficult conversations? It is important that emotions are managed appropriately and that leaders can have difficult conversations. For leaders to effectively work through transformative experiences, they cannot be emotionally withdrawn or shut off from team members. Avoidance of transformative change, feelings, and others are indicators there is an opportunity for transformation.
Reflection: Which of the Four Horsemen (criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling) is most prevalent in your leadership style? What actionable steps can you take to minimize the impact of this horseman on your leadership effectiveness?
