Introduction 

Aaron, one of our Ethos team members, has a three-year-old son, Zakkai, who loves adventure. While on a family hike, Zakkai was running trails, hopping over tree roots, and climbing rocks. Concerned for his son’s safety, Aaron cautioned, “be careful”. However, nature had its way and Zakkai tripped over a branch shortly after. In this moment, Aaron experienced a mix of emotions – concern for his son’s well-being and frustration that his guidance seemed unheeded. Instead of losing patience, Aaron repeated his advice, emphasizing the importance of caution. This time, the lesson sunk in, but it came at the cost of a painful experience.

Patience in the Workplace 

Leaders often encounter scenarios akin to Aaron’s situation, where they offer guidance, but team members seem not to listen. Perhaps you’ve found yourself grappling with persistent issues in a project that refuses to go according to plan. These situations can be frustrating and make it easy to lose patience. Here’s the thing, impactful leaders are patient under pressure. Patience is a discipline that many leaders want to be associated with. However, just desiring to be patient is not enough to stay composed. Leaders must have a plan in place that allows them to choose patience when feeling overwhelmed. It is for this reason we are reviewing tips and tricks for leaders to practice patience. 

Practical Approaches to Patience 

There is not one approach to patience that will work for all leaders. As Stephen Covey would encourage, effective people experiment with multiple healthy habits. It could be a combination of the following approaches that may be helpful for you:

• Prioritize Self-Care. The importance of self-care cannot be overstated. When we feel well, we put ourselves in a position to lead well. Self-care practices such as mindfulness increase our awareness of emotional states. This awareness provides an opportunity to manage our feelings effectively. Recognizing our patience is running thin can be a sign to engage in activities that blow off steam: working out, taking time off, or redirecting efforts towards a work activity that is rewarding. 
• Procrastinate on Purpose. There are times where leaders put unnecessary pressure on themselves to make decisions. As David Sluss shared in his Harvard Business Review article, Becoming a More Patient Leader, the U.S. Navy SEALs are known for the saying, “Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast”. What is communicated in this statement is that slowing down is key to reducing mistakes. Leaders must leverage the benefit of time to make informed decisions. It is better to make the right decision than to have a forced response that creates more chaos. 
• Maintain Perspective. Whether your patience is tried in a conversation with a team member, or with a project, leaders must see the whole picture. With team members, seek to empathize and set boundaries. Ask yourself, “what is their language of appreciation” or “what are the factors at play that have made working with a team member difficult”? Sometimes you need to set a boundary and schedule a conversation for another time. When feeling pressured by a project, reflect on “what positive learning opportunities are gained through these difficulties” or “what is within my control that I can have an influence on”? These reflections are moments of gratitude and empowerment. Practicing gratitude can reduce stress and increase patience. Feeling empowered can increase frustration tolerance.

Reflection: What causes your patience to run thin at work? What practice(s) do you need to implement that will put you in a better position to practice patience?