Running a simple Google search on “perfectionism” is quite revealing. Journal articles and blogs offer titles that range from “How to Overcome Perfectionism” to “The Pointless Pursuit of Perfectionism” to “The Dark Side of Perfectionism Revealed” to “How Being a Perfectionist Leader is Killing Your Leadership.” It appears our perfectionist friends are taking a beating out there. As if they aren’t already hard enough on themselves! At least, that’s been our experience. The perfectionists that we know are often ruthlessly tough on themselves and research backs that up in three critical ways:
- Perfectionism often stems from feelings of unworthiness and shame about failing to live up to the high standards set by self and by others.
- There is an extremely high correlation between perfectionism and depression.
- Perfectionists are susceptible to imposter syndrome—the fear that they will be exposed as frauds despite holding essential competencies.
But despite the criticism and the internal psychological battle that they face, many people credit their great success to being a perfectionist. Dr. Jeff Szymanski, a clinical psychologist, agrees with them. In his book, The Perfectionist’s Handbook: Take Risks, Invite Criticism, and Make the Most of Your Mistakes, Dr. Szymanski introduces the idea of healthy perfectionism. Citing findings from 20 years of research, he distinguishes between healthy and unhealthy perfectionism:
We’re operating within the realm of healthy perfectionism when our payoffs are greater than our costs. However, our unhealthy perfectionism is at play when our thoughts, behaviors, and strategies are driven by factors like a fear of failure, chronic concerns about making mistakes, constant self-doubting, a fixation on others’ expectations, anxiety about always falling short of self-made goals, and if our costs outweigh our payoffs.
Here’s the good news, being a healthy perfectionist is possible. These are our practical tips to help navigate the journey.
Identify Your Intent
Let’s say it’s time to prepare a report for the board of directors. What do you hope to accomplish in that report? Update them on your work? Share your concerns and ask for their advice? Highlight the strength of your team? Did anyone think, “Write a report that’s worthy of a Pulitzer Prize?” Probably not, and that’s why knowing intent is critical to becoming a healthy perfectionist. When we know what we’re aiming for, we can evaluate our work based on that standard rather than an unrealistic ideal that wasn’t the goal in the first place.
Give Yourself Guardrails
You’re back at your desk reviewing that board report. You are confident that the report meets your goal, and you received all green checkmarks when you ran Microsoft Word Editor. But you just can’t help looking at the third sentence again to see if you can find a better word, even though you’ve already changed it four times thanks to the Thesaurus feature. We believe in executing healthy processes to improve our work, but the key is healthy. That’s why we recommend creating a set of guardrails around tasks. For instance, when we write our weekly emails, the original author prepares an initial draft, runs spell check and Editor, and then passes it along to another partner. That partner conducts an editorial review to enhance clarity, runs spell check and Editor one more time, and then hands it off to the original author. The original author gives it one more scan to confirm their intent for the article didn’t get compromised in the editorial process and gives the green light for publishing. When we create guardrails, we ensure that critical steps are executed and, when we check those off the list, we give ourselves permission to move on to the next task.
Honor the Law of Diminishing Returns
Read the last sentence of the prior paragraph again. Sounds easy, right? But we know it’s not that simple. Sometimes our desire to meet goals and create quality work becomes an obsession. When we find ourselves teetering on that cliff, we can examine our efforts in consideration of the law of diminishing returns. At a certain point, more effort will not produce significantly more gains, and that’s when we need to stop. But how do you know when to stop? That’s where a friend, colleague, or coach can be invaluable. Share your progress and ask for their feedback. If they believe you can add significant value or quality with more time spent, honor that advice. If they think you have hit the mark, trust their input, and move to the next item on your to-do list.
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Final Idea to Action: Identify a task (e.g., writing reports, creating PowerPoint presentations) that ignites your perfectionist tendencies. Create a set of guardrails that will honor your desire to produce quality work while giving you permission to stop before you reach the point of diminishing returns.
